Insecure Confidence (Exploring Male Insecurities)

Ok….Here’s the truth…

Sigh…This is kind of hard to say….But here we go!

I am a Man…and I have insecurities.

Sane blog #3… "Insecure Confidence"

My freshman year at Florida A&M University, I was a single man. Me and my friends would go to the mall like every other day and challenge each other to acquire phone numbers from as many girls as we can!

To understand this story you must understand the characters who play a role in it, let me give you my best “Tyler Perry” (Completely developing the character profile in the beginning of the story...gosh Tyler Perry sucks sooooo bad!!! Save it for another blog):

One of my friends was a huge Rock Star at getting attention from the opposite sex. Some people just truly have the gift to gab (or just the ability to talk random bullshit and not lose the attention of whom he was talking to). My friend stood at 6’3, another one of my friends (whom was his brother), stood at the same height, was light skinned (house nigga complexion…we’ll save it for another blog), was in incredible shape, and both of them drove cars (at FAMU if you had a car your freshman year you were the Tallahassee version of “Baby” from Cash Money). In contrast, I stood at about 5’7 was about 130llbs soaking wet, was broke as shit, and had no vehicle.

Back to the story:

One day we went to Tallahassee Mall to let the games begin. We would play “Paper, Rock, Scissors” to see who would go first. Luckily I was very good at the game…so I went last.

Round 1: (Friend #1 ):

Friend #1 goes straight on the attack as if he was a lion chasing a gazelle. He sparks a conversation with her, she is laughing uncontrollably!! (That’s how you know he has her right where he wants her!!). She grabs his cell phone, puts her number in it and gives him a hug. We can save what this led to for another blog!!
He returns to us (his audience) and gives us high fives as if he was returning to the sideline after a touchdown!!
Friend Number Two , rubs his hands together and says, “Well guess it’s my turn”

Round 2: (Friend #2 )

As he’s approaching who looks to be the baddest chick in the mall, all I hear in my head is the beginning of the “Night and Day” song by Al B. Sure (Song Link).
SMH… this is going to be easy. He smirks as if he knows that this is in the bag and says like two words to her, hands her his phone and she puts her number in it and to add insult to injury…she gives him a big giant kiss on the cheek then says; “Call me baby, ok?”
As he walks back to us (In my head I hear the same fucking Al B. Sure song!! Smh). While smacking on some gum he says to me in a very nonchalant tone; “your turn nigga…”
Sigh…I take a deep breath and here goes nothing!

Round 3 (Me )

As I approach my prey I hear that same song which for some reason now is just stuck in my head. I step to her and I’m like; “Hi, How are you doing my name is Sane (Names have been change to protect the innocent)”

The girl looks me up and down as if she was going to start a fight with me…then the music stops … and she says; “Oh hell nah…move little man” and walks the fuck away.

My head drops in despair I felt like someone had just ripped my heart out and completely shitted on it (well that kind of is exactly what happened) and to make things worse, I glanced at my sideline and both of them were laughing hysterically!! Even some guy I didn’t know was somehow there laughing with them!?!

As I walk back the random guy (who was about 50 years old by my calculations) looks at me and says;
“Damn boy….That’s some cold shit!!”

Everyone laughs louder!! FML

Friend #2 calms down and says; “Dogg you just have to have more confidence when you talk to these hoes”

I began to think, “Confidence?” I didn’t even get a chance to say shit!!!

The truth is this... upon first approach there are only a few things a woman can go on when it comes to attraction and it all involves physical appearance.
Very often women complain about how other women are unrealistically projected in media, with the make-up, and the airbrushing, and the veneers…but it’s not the portrayal of unrealistic women that pisses them off, rather it’s the fact that this unrealistic portrait of a woman is what women feel a man wants (may be true may be false).

MEN DEAL WITH THIS SAME COMPLEX!!

We just don’t complain about it….

Like I don’t have to see the media constantly waving these dudes in my face as If I’ll ever be 6’4 and have a body fat percentage of 2? Come’ on.

The difference is that if I express my own personal insecurities then I’ll be shooting myself in the foot…How so? Because women find confidence sexy!

For this reason you will never hear any man point out their insecurities (I’m happily Married with Child and all, so it’s not like I’m on the market so I can say this).

Ladies I really wish I could give you a true assessment of where my entire gender stands on this issue but, a man will never…NEVER…NEVER, EVER, EVER admit this to another man…Why? Because it makes him look like a real bitch ass nigga!! Lol

With that said;
Sigh… here are my insecurities:

Height:

Every chick wants a tall man. The thing that frustrates me the most about this insecurity is that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it….smh

Weight:

When I get a little chunky, I feel bad about myself… especially when I have other friends who are in great shape. Plus I know that flab is not attractive and Abs are!! The one good thing about this is that I can control it! So I’m working out, not to impress women…but to make myself feel better (I would say to impress my wife but, she loves me regardless J)

Money:

“I aint saying she a golddigger, but she aint messing with no broke nigga” – Kanye
Kind of says it all…single ladies aren’t really checking for a broke man…no matter what bullshit comments they but on this blog saying otherwise.

Teeth:

Ok…this is a little extreme. I don’t have yellows or breathe that stinks..or anything wack like that. I just have a chip in my tooth that no one notices but me… and it fucks with me!! I don’t liekt o smile in picture for record myself on camera because I feel as though it make my face look crooked smh…sad I know!!!!

Anyways, the purpose of this post is to let women know that (I can’t speak for other men but,) I have insecurities and I can see how others would too…Ladies have taste and preferences that derive from media portrayal of abnormal men with abnormal abdominals! Do I hate on them…NO…Do I complain about it…NO.. I just check myself and work with what I’ve got!! Can that create an oxymoron of a term known as “Insecure Confidence”? We’ll see.
I’ll probably get played by every dude I know for this…but fuck it, Im gonna publish it anyway!

SaneBlog…DarkSide..One Love Peace

Now go run and tell your friends how much you love or hate me!!!